The Woman Interested in Sex Only

yourtango.comCommenting on my previous posts my Dear Readers have often been mentioning the Woman Interested in Sex Only (WISO) whose existence apparently keeps being ignored in my posts. In response to the popular demand I decided to write this post solely about her.

Let me start by saying that I do not judge the  WISO. I believe that a woman is entitled to do with her body what she pleases as much as a man is entitled to do so. Having said that, I don’t necessarily think that a WISO or her male  counterpart MISO (Man Interested in Sex Only) is a perfectly balanced, happy and psychologically sorted individual as their pursuit of the sexual part of relations only, especially as a life long attitude, may be a display of their fear of intimacy, commitment or some other underlying issue.

I’ll also allow myself to generalize and say that women in general tend to be less interested in sex-only relations. Even when I tried to google “women interested only in sex”, this and similar searches were inconclusive and most of the results were changing the word “women” to “men”. There are exceptions to the rule for sure and there is also a period in life when what we would generally call a relationship girl becomes a WISO, namely “rebound time”. If you’re freshly after a break-up and brokenhearted, no-strings-attached sex may seem an appealing option until you’re ready to open again for a deeper (your mind is dirty! I mean on emotional level too!) relation.

I think the reason why I’m not mentioning WISOs too often is because they don’t seem to have the same problems as most of my female friends do. In other words, the conversation rarely goes along the lines “Zloty Baby, I’m really struggling to find men for casual sex, do you maybe know some guys who just want to fuck BUT under no circumstances are looking for something serious?” (alternatively “Zloty Baby, do you know any hot guys interested in getting a fuck buddy?”). I’m not saying that conversations like these don’t really happen between females, I’m just saying I have little experience with them. Similarly, I don’t know much about BDSM and poly-amorous relationships so I’m not going to write about these topics either 😉

So, Dear Readers, please tell me – have you met many WISOs? Do you agree with the idea that a woman can have casual sex and have so many partners as she pleases? Or does the judgmental word “slut” come to your mind when you think about someone like this? Last but not least, if you are judgmental are you equally harsh with men who like casual sex?

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22 comments

  1. bklynboy59 · July 7, 2015

    I guess it depends on how and where you were brought up(raised). If a man into casual sex with no relationship with a woman he was considered a dog, if a woman has casual sex with men with out a relationship slut does come to mind. But it goes deeper because for what ever reason women are considered sluts in this vein and men are considered …experienced and just sowing their wild oats…I never understood that double standard. I will say both men and women should view sex as something sacred not casual. Both should receive the same treatment if you follow a certain code of behavior if you believe in the sacredness of sex.

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · July 7, 2015

      It’s so unusual for a guy to admit that there are double standards. I think that sex can be sacred but it doesn’t necessarily have to be in relationship as long as people have mutual respect for each other. Also, one should see a difference between sex and love and not mistake one for the other.

      Like

      • bklynboy59 · July 8, 2015

        I aim to speak the truth about matter of the heart. As I stated before I learned painfully from past experience.

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      • zlotybaby · July 8, 2015

        That’s a very good, yet uncommon attitude 😊

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      • bklynboy59 · July 8, 2015

        it produces a more healthy approach for a long lasting relationship

        Like

  2. EnglishRosiee · July 7, 2015

    No judgement of WISOs but I’ve always advised my girlfriends not to have casual sex because I feel that there are very few women in real life that are TRULY all about the sex. Most women tend to somehow get emotionally attached and so things generally end in disaster, for the women. Men on the other hand are generally (yes i am generalizing here because there are some decent blokes around) tougher and therefore seem to be able to do the whole ‘one nighter’ thing more ‘successfully’.

    Even Samantha in SATC (the ultimate Alpha Female) stopped being all about the sex when she found the dude that stood by her through chemo. So I think even WISOs,are just little girls looking for their Prince Charming, but along the way the got disillusioned (understandably) and instead of being honest with themselves they put up this ‘I am all about the sex’ front.

    Oh, and for those want to argue that women just have an itch that needs to be scratched. I’ve got the perfect solution for you – ANN SUMMERS where you don’t need to worry about catching an STI 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · July 8, 2015

      I do agree with you. I guess there’s a big difference between a one night stand and a romance but then a WISO would not be interested in the latter as it does involve lots of feelings, even short lived. I just don’t think, as you say, that there are many WISOs and many women seek affection and intimacy in casual sex which is a reason for them getting attached.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. patriciamanning · July 7, 2015

    I would probably be considered a WISO, and, yes, I have a bunch of reasons why. And no, I am not ashamed or think that in any way would it qualify me as a slut – a term that makes my blood boil. I actually don’t think that anyone would even think of me negatively, because most people wouldn’t even know. Not one for relationships, I can definitely say that I have had sex just for the sake of wanting to have sex. It is a primal need that everyone has, and I used to have trouble understanding how friends could go so long without it. Unfortunately, most people think that sex should only be had in committed relationships and judge themselves the most if they do have a one night stand. I refuse to do this; although I am trying a novel approach for myself – to actually be interested in the next guy I bed… so I may be a virgin by the time I have sex again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 7, 2015

      Kudos to you for knowing what you want and going out to get it. I’m impressed 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · July 7, 2015

      Wow! One needs balls indeed to be so honest with themselves (and with the blog’s readers and authors 😉). I don’t think people should judge themselves if they happen to have sex just because they’re horny but I do think that if doing so leaves them feeling bad about themselves as they were actually looking for intimacy they should maybe not do it again or at least make sure that sex is actually what they’re looking for.

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  4. lola · July 7, 2015

    Are you saying that a woman is not a “true” WISO if she eventually gets into a long term relationship? I find that odd. Anyway. I guess I’m a WISO and it’s just all about attachment and non-attachment. In the Buddhist sense, not the romantic sense. I feel you may leave out some points though: for myself, I still have to be attracted to the person, and attraction occurs across mtiple levels–physical, intellectual, spiritual, biochemical. WISOs are not just ready to bang for the sake of it with some crusty guy. Secondly, though it may seem counter intuitive, I’m kinda picky… In choosing a relationship partner. So in the meantime, NSA sex is where it’s at and I don’t have to worry about when I’m going break up with this sweet, fun but basic boy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · July 8, 2015

      I’ve seen many men pursuing this sort of a life style (she was pretty, I banged her, never saw her again) for years and years while women tend to either get involved into a series of flings, decide to stop doing any of it altogether or get serious with someone. It may be because life is harsher for women and beauty only lasts for certain amount of time. In “Sex in the City” Samantha does look a bit silly at certain age. It may be because women tend to link sex to the person they’re having it with. All I’m saying is that I never really meet women who are truly looking for sex only and as long as the chemistry is there, the guy will do. Being attracted to other qualities as you mention just doesn’t seem like sex is the point but reminds me more of fling, which is a type of a relationship after all.

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