We all know at least one fine specimen of the Ivy Woman. This one friend that you’ve never seen single and if it happened for a short while she felt painfully unhappy and lost? That person that only changes her partner when another one is already in her life? Jip, that’s her – the Ivy Woman henceforth referred to as IW.
The IW doesn’t understand the word “single”. “Single” to her equals unhappy and unfulfilled. It is so as if an IW the only source of happiness is the man. If he’s happy, she’s happy and that’s what her life is limited to. She does her job if he can’t afford to provide for her but there’s no real interest in what she’s doing. She may have a hobby but you’ll probably find her changing her hobbies as she changes her men. When that happens she’ll change her eating habits too and in more extreme cases even her religion.
The IW will date pretty much anyone and often underdates (dates way below her value on the dating market 😉). There’s only one condition that needs to be fulfilled – one has to be a man. Many men find the complete devotion appealing, which leads to an intense, yet usually short lived interest in the IW. Unless an IW meets a Stalker, then they’re interdependence may last for centuries.
In a magical way the IW feels when her partner’s interest is decreasing and she starts the hunt for a new victim again immediately (yet obviously without finishing the former relation). She herself is impossible to please and requires constant attention. Like a parasite that cannot live without a host, she also cannot function without a man and she will make sure that there’s one ready and waiting for her at all times. Friend zoning people is among her many moves, so is a not-yet-discussed phenomenon of back-pocketing (when one is potentially interested in a person but not REALLY and is still actively looking around).
How to deal with an IW? If you’re a man run. She’s not a real person but something that temporarily has a form of whoever you would want her to be and she will replace you as soon as you’re not all over her at all times. If you’re a woman don’t listen to her when it comes to dating. If you’re single she’ll make you feel miserable and you’ll find yourself questioning your worth for “not being able to find a man” as she’ll put it. If you’re in a relationship you’ll start to question your relationship if you’re a healthy human being and don’t spend all of your waking and sleeping life with your boyfriend. In either case don’t get engaged (pun intended).
wow are bashing someone in particular?
LikeLike
I meant are you bashing someone in particular? typed too fast …lol
LikeLike
😉 no, it’s just an observation drawn from experience. I believe there’s such a type as the above mentioned 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
It just sounded like there was a hint of anger in there somewhere. Not saying that’s bad because it isnt.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊 well spotted! There may be some underlying anger of ordinary life frustrations 😉
LikeLike
I know so many people like this! Most of the time, they self-identify. It is always their choice to end the relationship, but that only happens when they have secured the next one. One of my friends left her 7 year relationship in tears (it was the first time the guy dumped her, but because he had found someone more devoted that her, so he was an Ivy Man??) and swearing to everyone she would be single for at least a year. Haha, it lasted 2 weeks before she attached herself to some Irish guy who tried to pick me up outside the bathroom at a concert she dragged me to. Last I heard was they are getting married.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol. But what about if the marriage doesn’t work. Will she have the next hubby waiting in the wings?
LikeLike
Her ex could be an Ivy Man but I think we can only use the term if we observe a repetitive behavior of this kind 😉
Funny story, thanks for sharing 😊
LikeLike
Maybe we should make a term for men who like dependent women?? Some sort of mutual parasitic comparison because the guy gets to feel needed and the woman gets to feel secure…
LikeLike
I’ll try to come up with something, stay tuned 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know many of these types and while they might be more rare (because of a woman’s need to be loved and protected) I can also confirm that Ivy Men do exist. I feel like knocking some sense into these Ivy People though – you know it is possible to live at least periods of your life, enjoying singledom, partying with your single friends and generally widening your social (or in my case painting bar stools) without becoming a totally spinster experiencing a decade long sex-drought. The funniest thing is for the Ivy People, there never really seems to be a dating stage as such…they go from being Facebook Official with one guy/girl to being FBO with the next. Its often too much for my fragile mind to keep up with.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly! And often from living with one boyfriend to living with another one. I think one needs time to figure out what went wrong last time before starting again, otherwise the same mistakes will be made.
LikeLiked by 1 person
[…] the end of the day, most exes (unless you’re an ivy women/man who has too many to name) probably had some significance in our lives and even removing all traces […]
LikeLike
[…] a legitimate medical condition (and imagine the battle the HR people would have getting rid of that Ivy Woman who would forever be calling in with a broken heart just to have a new man on her arm the very next […]
LikeLike
[…] and in dating life even though they won’t admit it to themselves they’ll do anything for a man. You probably know them from your life. Beautiful, active, professionally fulfilled women who keep […]
LikeLike
[…] know but to be honest among women I’ve seen the contrary. Inspired by all the attempts of females unhappy with their guys but still trying to make someone love them back or keep up the interest, I decided to write this […]
LikeLike
[…] good to read the whole book to understand the phenomenon fully. In short, women who love too much do anything for a man who can give them the same treatment they received in childhood. They’re not interested in […]
LikeLike
[…] later coupled up with someone else, often a person uncannily similar to their previous partner. The ivy women and related beings are not doing themselves any favors by jumping from one relationship to […]
LikeLike
[…] I suppose, like happiness, this whole concept of love is also interpretation. There are those ‘Ivy Women’ who jump from one relationship to the next without even a few hours of single time in between men […]
LikeLike