We all know at least one fine specimen of the Ivy Woman. This one friend that you’ve never seen single and if it happened for a short while she felt painfully unhappy and lost? That person that only changes her partner when another one is already in her life? Jip, that’s her – the Ivy Woman henceforth referred to as IW.
The IW doesn’t understand the word “single”. “Single” to her equals unhappy and unfulfilled. It is so as if an IW the only source of happiness is the man. If he’s happy, she’s happy and that’s what her life is limited to. She does her job if he can’t afford to provide for her but there’s no real interest in what she’s doing. She may have a hobby but you’ll probably find her changing her hobbies as she changes her men. When that happens she’ll change her eating habits too and in more extreme cases even her religion.
The IW will date pretty much anyone and often underdates (dates way below her value on the dating market 😉). There’s only one condition that needs to be fulfilled – one has to be a man. Many men find the complete devotion appealing, which leads to an intense, yet usually short lived interest in the IW. Unless an IW meets a Stalker, then they’re interdependence may last for centuries.
In a magical way the IW feels when her partner’s interest is decreasing and she starts the hunt for a new victim again immediately (yet obviously without finishing the former relation). She herself is impossible to please and requires constant attention. Like a parasite that cannot live without a host, she also cannot function without a man and she will make sure that there’s one ready and waiting for her at all times. Friend zoning people is among her many moves, so is a not-yet-discussed phenomenon of back-pocketing (when one is potentially interested in a person but not REALLY and is still actively looking around).
How to deal with an IW? If you’re a man run. She’s not a real person but something that temporarily has a form of whoever you would want her to be and she will replace you as soon as you’re not all over her at all times. If you’re a woman don’t listen to her when it comes to dating. If you’re single she’ll make you feel miserable and you’ll find yourself questioning your worth for “not being able to find a man” as she’ll put it. If you’re in a relationship you’ll start to question your relationship if you’re a healthy human being and don’t spend all of your waking and sleeping life with your boyfriend. In either case don’t get engaged (pun intended).