Short Guide to Dating and Religion

imageReligion and dating, a topic that didn’t exist back in the days when religion was as attached to your nationality as an alcoholic is attached to his liquor, is more than a valid discussion today (in the rotten Western world that is). Should we date someone of a different religion if we’re religious or of any religion at all if we’re Godless?

Let’s start with an example of a Godless person with no moral compass widely known as the Atheist (I’m putting to the same basket his ugly brother the Agnostic who can’t commit to an opinion about God and the ugliest of the siblings the Oblivious who didn’t even care to think about it all). The Atheist isn’t an easy person to date for any religious person. It’s difficult to have a healthy relationship when one person (the Atheist) thinks that the other person is an intellectual savage who believes in superstition and the other person (the Believer) thinks that their partner is a lost individual that will eventually find God and change his or her views to the right ones. The more serious the relationship gets the more one side tries to convince the other about their righteousness. The biggest problem appears when children are born. The Atheist wants to keep them far away from any specific religion for as long as possible while the Believer wants them to join the congregation ASAP. I’d say that Godless and Godful people should just spare themselves trouble and avoid dating each other. Compromise is possible, of course, but to compromise on something which requires giving up a quite important part of our beliefs may just not be the best idea.

Similarly, I think that it’s very difficult to make cross religious dating successful. Even though, unlike in the case of the Atheist and the Believer, representatives of different religions are all on Team God, the differences between them tend to lead to romantic conflicts. People can be very protective over their own rituals and as they believe that what they do is right they will want eventually to change their partner. We all know, that starting to date someone even with the most hidden idea in mind telling us that we can “change them” isn’t the right thing to do because it will most probably only be successful in one thing: wrecking our nerves.

I believe that when it comes to dating, people should be honest with themselves and agree on what they’re willing and not willing to accept. After all, there are degrees of commitment and militant/radical representatives of their religions or its lack are very different from its mild followers who actually don’t care at all. If you’re a Christian but you truly wouldn’t mind your child to be Muslim there’s truly no reason not to go for it, but let’s be honest, it’s a rare attitude.

Even though I wouldn’t like to tell my Dear Readers that in terms of religion and dating the more similar the views of the partners the better, I’m afraid I have to say exactly that. Obviously, there are differences in characters and some people really don’t mind converting, but as a general rule we shouldn’t count on it.

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57 comments

  1. bklynboy59 · May 26, 2015

    Interesting post… you took a stand not to date a Atheist. But what if the person you date is a say a buddist and you’re Christian? The same issues could come into play right?

    Liked by 2 people

    • zlotybaby · May 26, 2015

      Thank you for the comment. Yes, I think it’s just easier for non religious people to only date other non religious people. I think there are so many problems we have to deal with when dating people that we should avoid difficulties whenever possible. Would you agree?

      Liked by 1 person

      • bklynboy59 · May 26, 2015

        I agree to a point but the question Is what if a buddist and a Christian date?

        Liked by 2 people

      • bklynboy59 · May 26, 2015

        did my question throw you for a loop?

        Like

      • zlotybaby · May 26, 2015

        It depends on a Christian and a Buddhist. I can see how it could work if both of them are moderate followers willing to compromise but I can also see many potential problems.

        Like

      • bklynboy59 · May 26, 2015

        I think you were thrown by the question because there was no answer forth coming so…here it goes…

        Like

      • bklynboy59 · May 26, 2015

        I understand what you are saying about religious vs non religious when it comes to dating …however it goes deeper than that. You think it is as simple as religious people dating each other, but the reason I posed the question is because not all religious are a good mix either Buddist and Christians are very much different on their views on a supreme being and on reincarnation. If you have two chrisitian faiths at least you have the bible in which to have a common ground with . It may be a difference in interpretation but a common ground none the less. But a Buddist has no interest in the bible and sees things very differently and there is no common ground. So I was asking what do you do when you date someone in that situation?

        Like

      • zlotybaby · May 26, 2015

        As I mentioned in my post the more similar the better: meaning for instance, representatives of different Christian denominations will most probably find dating easier than a Muslim and a Christian or even a Buddhist and a Christian. Not everyone is serious about their views, many people are traditionally members of one or other religion so it all depends on people. But generalizing, cross religion dating is difficult and will most probably cause conflict. The fact that I take a while to reply is because I’m not online all the time and (unfortunately) blogging is not my full time job πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · May 26, 2015

      I think that for any religious person to date an Atheist is going to be hard – because they are disagree fundamentally on the existence of God. (Its like one parent telling the kid that Santa does exist while the other is trying to save their offspring some heartache). However, if the Bible Basher/ Happy Clappy Buddhist wants to date an agnostic, who doesn’t know what they want…there is more hope of things working out because there is potential for CONVERSION !!!!

      Like

      • bklynboy59 · May 26, 2015

        When you have polar opposites even in religion it is going to be hard. Christian and buddhist are polar opposites. Christian and say jewish are rooted in the same teachings not so polar. the polars opposites don’t often lead to conversion. It is from my experience that it is different from the stand point there isn’t going to be alot of comprising, if it does someone is going to be something they are not.

        Liked by 1 person

      • zlotybaby · May 26, 2015

        I think the only polar opposites in this case are atheists vs religious. I know that people of the Books tend to be haters towards Buddhists but I actually think it should be easier to date a Buddhist than an atheist. At least they have some idea of spirituality.

        Like

  2. EnglishRosiee · May 26, 2015

    Well, where do we start? Such a contentious topic. I am personally not a huge fan of the GODFUL man, as you’ve called him. From my experience they often use religion to justify their immoral behaviour. You know its totally OK to beat your woman and cheat on her, but eating the dirty pig is the ultimate sin. Hypocrisy !!!

    And how about if you are not all that religious but you are open-minded and curious to learn about other religions. You join Jswipe under the ‘willing to convert’ category but despite your good looks and charms you almost never get a MAZELTOV 😦 You just have to face facts, you will never truly be welcome at the Shul 😦

    Liked by 2 people

    • zlotybaby · May 26, 2015

      I think there’s a big difference between being open-minded and a supporter. Even an open-minded non-religious person (whom I consider myself to be) doesn’t have to support the practices of religious people. For instance, the above mentioned no-pork policy and other “unclean foods” believes seem to me relicts of the past and I don’t understand why a sensible modern human being these days would limit him or herself in this way.

      Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · May 27, 2015

        But there are some religions that just won’t accept you, even if you are open-minded and willing to give up bacon ?? Its better that in these cases the religious person, tells the other one that there is no hope for them beyond maybe some sordid fling down a back alley because THEIR PEOPLE will never be able to accept a person that is not one of their own.

        Like

  3. rinsebeforeuse · May 26, 2015

    I think IF religion is something that makes you tick, its better to try and find a partner that you see eye to eye with on religious issues. If you are the sort of Christian that visits the Church once a year at Christmas for fun times with the family and a few carols, it will probably be easier for you to accommodate a Buddhist in your life that if you are the type of Christian that is heavily involved in Bible Studies, etc.

    I also think religion is something that a person has the right to choose. Yes, people are born into certain religions but when the develop a mind of their own they can turn around and say that the belief system is a load of BS. Therefore I think its fair for a girl to to say she won’t date a Muslim/Christian/Jew/Hindu etc. To me, this is the same as saying I won’t date a Communist/Fascist/Tory Jerk because basically these people have CHOSEN to have views that stand in direct opposition to what I believe.

    My dislike of religion basically stems from the fact that most people follow it like sheep without questioning the rituals they are following. Like the whole dirty pig/holy cow story… they justify reasons not to kill certain animals but they are more than happy to kill human beings in the name of GOD.

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · May 26, 2015

      I find dating choices based on religious views a preference while I can’t apply the same tool to race. Race not always means culture. Religion always does. I know it’s not really in reply to your comment but I just wanted to share my thought.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. error message · May 26, 2015

    What is this boringness???
    I want to read about Sex and the City style escapades, not whether to go to church or not!!
    More scandal please!

    Like

    • EnglishRosiee · May 26, 2015

      Some ppl like yourself are soooo rude mayb u need to have the fear of God instilled in you.

      Let me try kiss an Δ°mam or find me a Rabbi on Jswipe just for your entertainment … they u won’t b finding religion soooo boring will u ?

      Like

      • j2mazou · May 26, 2015

        Yes please!! That’s the kind of stuff I want to read about. Being saucy in the confession box thingy!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · May 26, 2015

        Please please share your stories with us seems u have a thing for men of God.

        Like

      • zlotybaby · May 26, 2015

        #englishrosiee I think your next dating challenge is to make a Catholic priest quit celibate.

        Liked by 2 people

      • EnglishRosiee · May 26, 2015

        It can b done πŸ˜‰

        Like

    • zlotybaby · May 26, 2015

      And yet when you’re getting scandalous stories you’re not writing comments. This post is the punishment from God.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. EnglishRosiee · May 27, 2015

    Well said #zlotybaby well said.

    Like

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  7. Patricia M · June 9, 2015

    I may be godless, but I am certainly have a moral compass! Apart from that, in your opening comment, more or less I agree. (although you may be saying this is what atheists are seen as) I probably wouldn’t be able to be in a relationship with someone who was devoted to following rules, instead of relaying on their own internal morals and values. This is an excellent article, backing my point: http://jezebel.com/godless-parents-are-doing-a-better-job-1682844001

    Like

    • zlotybaby · June 9, 2015

      I’m an atheist myself, the opening comment is a playful definition as that’s often how we are seen πŸ˜‰ thank you for your comment and the link to the interesting article.

      Like

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  30. Sarah Hope · November 24

    To me, I would be interested in debating with an atheist because there is no possible way to “know” that no God exists. With that being said, I could not refute an agnostic (“I do not know”), but being an atheist automatically signals to me black and white thinking that would conflict absent an intellectual argument. If they proved he or she proved their point, that is different, but I have not seen one yet that ever could and have debated multiple on the subject.

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · November 28

      The way I look at it, it’s up to the believer to prove anything. If you told me there was an elephant in the room and couldn’t see it, I’m not being silly by not believing that there’s no elephant in the room. The thing is you see the elephant and I don’t. Discussing or fighting over such perception is pointless. Agnosticism is the position in between but this discussion is only simple if we think about the persona of God the creator and not any other understanding of God (pantheism for instance).

      Like

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