What are we?

what are we

According to the stereotype, women want to know the answer to this question after date no 3 and men are reluctant to ever give it. The question “What are we?” is usually not that difficult to answer and often doesn’t even have to be asked if we just decide to be honest with ourselves. Let’s have a look at the options:

1) We’re friends

I like you and you like me a bit more, maybe we have a tad of chemistry but because we’ve been friends for quite a while and I respect our friendship I’m not willing to give us a shot. Don’t ask me how I feel about you, it will make things awkward. We both know we’re just friends and nothing else is going to happen between us.

2) We’re friends with benefits

We like each other somewhat but none of us really wants to commit. I’d like us to be a relationship but that’s because I’m a clingy female or an overly attached guy. In reality, I’m not that into you but sleeping with you is clouding my judgement.

3) We’re vibing

That’s what you say but I’m telling my friends that I’m dating someone and maybe even occasionally I called you my boyfriend. You don’t really like me that much but I choose to be blind and believe that you do and that you will commit eventually and stop seeing other people.

4) We’re nowhere

You see me once every two weeks at best and occasionally send me a message. We don’t really have a rapport but oh in my head we do! When asked about my relationship status I smile mysteriously and say that I have something “under construction”. You behave like a child who licks a cake just so that no one else can eat it. But I’m fine with it. Is it not what TRUE love is all about? Giving everything and getting nothing in return?

5) We’re in love and it’s happening (as in: not tragic stories eg he’s married and I’m too/my parents disapprove/he’s a Jehovah witness and I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster)

We’re happy together. We want it to last because it makes us feel good and are hoping for the best. Only time will show how strong the bond is.

6) We’re not in love but it’s happening anyway

We keep trying “this” out and “learning about each other”. We hope it’ll feel right, eventually. We’ll probably only survive till something better comes our  way unless we’re desperate and we lost hope for anything better.

So Dear Reader(es), what are you and your beau/belle?


  1. Hmmm….Hard for me to say. You know me so many guys, so little time…lots of double parking. Lots of ‘friends’. One who could have been a ‘friend with benefits’, but Jehovah had a word in his ear and told him not to hurt a good girl like me, so he is doing that who licking that cake business. Thanks for nothing God.

    I will work on getting some guys to cover each of the categories tho 🙂

    But there is one you forgot to add. Its the ‘Not in love but something is happening because I don’t have any purpose in life without a partner so I am getting to know someone’ category.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think the category you mention is actually a subcategory of “we’re not in love but it’s happening anyway”. Maybe I’ll write a sequel to the post one day 😉


  3. […] What is a BP? It’s probably easier to define what she’s not. There’s a difference between this phenomenon and friendzoning as the latter means the guy isn’t sexually attracted to her. In other words, unlike a friend zoned girl, a BP can and usually is used for some “action”. Depending on the values of both parties involved a BP can be sleeping, dry humping, real life flirting or even only texting with the guy. He’s not interested enough to court her properly (usually due to commitment issues) and knows that it’s going nowhere, while she keeps hoping that it may and dreads asking the question “what are we?“. […]


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